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The Tower of London and London Bridge

The Tower of London and London Bridge

Figured I’d go tick another biggy off today – the Tower of London. It was well chokka, guess it always is – even though I got there about 10 minutes after they opened. 

So first stop was a Beefeater tour. The queens bodyguard. He had like 100 people on the ‘tour’ but it was well worth it. A total champ, this guy – I guess their vocal chords build resistance during their at least 22 years military service, to train them for shouting at tourists every day. He made the execution stories fairly comical, which left us tourists in a compromising position – he’s pretending to hack someone’s head off very poorly and it’s pretty funny how he’s doing it, but some folks were actually on the receiving end of all that. 
Beefcake. Beefcake! BEEF CAKE!
Figure on the ramparts. I guess he’s doing it all wrong but takes a good photo.
I was wondering how these guys get much guarding done if they can’t move their head?
Beefcake told us of the legend, if there’re less than 6 ravens at the Tower, the Kingdom will fall. So they keep 8, just in case. And there’s 6 guys looking after them.
Folks went ape over the crown jewels.
In the White Tower, there’s the ‘Kings road’ I think it was? Statues of horses and armour and stuff, pretty much the historical answer to those IT bosses who walk you down the hall specifically to see their expensive Iron Man and Alien figurines. BIG MAN.
This dude keeps photobombing my photos, it’s getting annoying

I thought this was a neat idea. In the past they actually made stuff out of weapons to scare folks and that (Game of Thrones styles – weapons of your vanquished enemies!). So they’ve done this modern version, which is built out of stuff used in all the different uses of the Tower over the years. So it’s built of telescopes and weapons and handcuffs and shit. I guess you get a bit of a fright when you walk around the corner, not sure if it inspires awe.

Straight to the pool room

Couple of bits have been done in Edward I and II styles, Medieval. Different way of doing things fo sho.

Medieval on your ass

And finally, what you bought the internet to see – the crown jewels.

There was a big line for them and I wasn’t prepared to wait that long. Those of you who’ve been will know how long this queue is below, and yea, na. I said to myself, I’ll come again with some visiting family member or something – but if not, there’s good photos online.

Not queueing that long to see someone elses jewels, I got some right here

The Tower of London is definitely full of history, not all of it that lovely is it! No wonder Shakespeare did so many plays on royalty, it’s like days of your lives up in there. Did anyone ever get away with murdering kids in days of your lives?

It’s kindof mindblowing to see all this stuff that’s like, 1200AD. But then you get desensitised to it, cause it’s everywhere. Might invest in some narrative-based non-fiction stuff on the monarchy, maybe.

Popping out the tower, there’s the London Bridge. And what tourist wouldn’t walk over it? So I walked over it. It worked pretty good I’ve got to say, I clean went from one side of the Thames to the other.

I do like that, around all these historical landmarks, there’re all the modern landmarks. And they’re putting up heaps of other neat skyscrapers too, I thought it was supposed to be a recession over here? 
Kaiju suppository.

I’ve locked and loaded a couple of day trips in the coming weeks, so stay tuned. I do need to devote a little more time to leaving this flat though, and finding a job, so this glut of tourism might be dwindling – I’m saving museums until the school summer holidays are over!

Larry's a 30-something chap interested in travel, being a dork and changing the world via less boring training.

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